Here

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When I left the blogging world last year things were in such turmoil. I was so hurt, you could have stuck a fork in me. I was absolutely done and out done for that matter. Grief was present and accounted for, it held silent court in my mind and heart, while I physically kept moving. Then when I thought I was “dealing” with griefs place in my life, I discovered serious cracks in the foundation of my marriage and ended a relationship.

Me and pain became ace boon coons.
We rolled together. Hung tough!

But God…

You know, you can look good on the outside and you can fool a lot of people. But you can’t fool God.

God saw my pain and he did nothing. Nothing. He did not rush in to save me. Instead, He waited on me to come to him and allow him to heal me from the inside out.

I was angry and bitter and wanted revenge. I wanted to make people hurt the way that I was hurting. That wouldn’t make me feel better though. It wouldn’t change the past. It wouldn’t create a brighter future for me. So, I forgave. Everyone. I dropped the grudges, and I started to feel better. And when those feelings of rage returned (it was a process) I started from square one and forgave everyone again. There’s a scripture that says you should forgive 7 times 70 (paraphrasing). So that’s what I’ve been doing.

Am I returning to the world of blogging? *shrugs*

But since I’ve been gone, I have grown so much. I seen the hand of God moving in my life in a major way.

I shared with you all that we had been blessed with a son. What I didn’t share, was that our son came on the heels of reconciliation between Ian and I.

I did not share, how even after being blessed to conceive him, carrying him came with surgeries, bed rest, and eventually a premature delivery.

I did not share, that while all these medical issues were taking place, I was in the last 2 semesters of school. I graduated with honors (cum laude) exactly 1 week after I had my son with a bachelors.

Life is funny. God has the craziest sense of humor, I tell ya. I mean who else could orchestrate these things.

Am I back?? For now I am here. I am no longer the Same Ole Patrice… I’ve changed and I am here.

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20 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. LadyLee
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 06:23:37

    Wow girl… Just wow. A blessing this morning, just to read this. Congrats on your new baby. What a blessing. And what a blessing to see the hand of God move in your life. Thanks for sharing.

    If you don’t wanna blog, don’t. Do you. Take care of you… and the family.

    Reply

  2. DeDe
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 06:45:06

    Awww!! This post brought tears to my eyes. I understand the pain you speak of and its a very difficult process. It is also a testimony to God and your Joy today with the incredible ability to forgive repeatedly!!! and reconciliation!!! Amen. Anyhow I am so glad to hear your doing Great!!!

    Reply

  3. sheila
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 07:04:59

    Welcome back Baby Girl… got me over here watering up over this post… love the beautiful picture. You were truly missed.

    Reply

  4. Carolyn
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 07:57:46

    Thanks for sharing the picture of you and your beautiful son, as well as the story behind it. I am happy to hear that things are going so much better for you and I’m wishing you, Ian and your precious son all the best!

    Reply

  5. toni
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 08:54:38

    Beautiful!

    Reply

  6. wifey615
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 11:41:55

    My sentiments exactly ^^^
    Thanks for sharing the picture of you and your beautiful son, as well as the story behind it. I am happy to hear that things are going so much better for you and I’m wishing you, Ian and your precious son all the best!

    Reply

  7. Shawnta
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 12:36:30

    Cancer sista girl I understand! Like others have said your post brought tears to my eyes. Its funny how attached you can become to folks in the blogging world and I was truely sad turn learn how things had changed after I came off of my blogging break. God always brings you through, even if we cant see the lessons and the blessings at the time. Congratulations ten times over!

    Reply

  8. buttahflychronicles
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 14:31:10

    So you’re not gonna be mad if I say that that baby looks JUST like Ian lol. But you knew God had it all under control right?

    Reply

  9. Joyce in NC
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 15:31:43

    I’m tearing up ….. but I’m so very happy for you and your family. Your struggles remind me again of the saying “Fear Not the Darkness of the Night, but Believe in the Coming of the Morning.” What an awesome testimony. My prayers will continue to follow you.

    Reply

  10. nik
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 15:52:51

    Before I even started reading, I saw that picture and it made me smile. *hugs*
    You’re going to be just fine. But you already know that.

    Reply

  11. TYNA
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 16:25:07

    The picture shows a beautiful mom with a beautiful prince, Patrice.

    Reply

  12. Trish
    Jun 27, 2011 @ 21:06:41

    Welcome back!! Your son is soooo cute! I am sorry to hear about all that you’ve gone through but I am glad that you shared your testimony. I have been dealing with some things myself and am waiting to get my release, I’m glad you got yours!

    Reply

  13. chele
    Jun 28, 2011 @ 07:06:13

    This was a beautiful post. You are truly blessed.

    Reply

  14. bayoucreole
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 02:06:14

    Beautiful picture. Your post gave me chills, it just went to the core of me. Congrats lil momma!

    Reply

  15. Netta Boo
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 16:39:29

    Still Prayin for you and your family. You look so amazing and so at peace. Lots of hugs and love.

    Reply

  16. Beverly
    Jul 01, 2011 @ 21:40:46

    God bless you and that handsome prince. May he keep you on your toes,lol. Congratulations on your many successes and battles fought and won.

    Reply

  17. cici
    Jul 03, 2011 @ 09:20:43

    Thank you so much for sharing that with us. How precious he is, you sound like you have learned a lot♥ Many continued blessing are coming your way

    Reply

  18. Nessa
    Jul 13, 2011 @ 14:16:58

    Oh my, your last two posts just filled my heart with joy. Thank you so much for sharing your blessings with us baby girl 🙂

    And that little man of yours is toooooooooo cute!!!!!! xs

    Reply

  19. Shawnta
    Jul 15, 2011 @ 09:41:03

    Happy Birthday Sis! Many blessings to you!

    Reply

  20. Virginia Allen
    Dec 08, 2011 @ 01:06:53

    I know this post is A Lot Late, but this HELPED me a lot when I saw this in August and I needed to be uplifted and read it again today. Congrats on your new baby, the renewed relationship, and the new relationship with GOD. Welcome Back.!!

    Reply

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