It’s not a vacation (TFTFSO)

Happy Friday!

What do you all have planned for the weekend?
I dont have too much planned, we’re going by my MIL for mothers day. Other than that I plan relax and do a whole lotta nothing!

sooooo…. Today’s Idiot of the day award goes to my new client, let’s call him “Mr. Gravel”.

When I called Mr. Gravel for his interview, he was on his cell phone raiding the snack machines in the lobby. I got him to the back and start the interview. Which is how he got his name btw, b/c my 1st thought when he opened his mouth was “DAYUM, WTF happened to your grill”. Yall it looked like he eats gravel for breakfast his teeth were so fuked up.

Anyway, he’s crying that he’s homeless and won’t give me a mailing address.

Me: So where have you been sleeping the past week?

Mr.G: Ahh well here and there (giggling)

Me: Do you have a relative or friends home you can rcve your mail?

Mr. G: hehehe well no… I want it to come to my place

Me: *deep sigh* According to you, you dont have you own place. So where do you want your mail to go?

Mr. G: ahh see look how you want to play me. Can I just get it here then.

(to myself I thought, NO Mutherfucker you can’t)
Me: fine. So what have you been doing with yourself? Are you working? When’s the last time you worked?

Mr.G: Ahhh well Nah… itBs been a while since I worked… I been on vacation.

*blank stare*

Me: by vacation, what exactly do you mean? B/c I work everyday and it’s a stretch for me to take “vacation”. Please share how you, Mr. haven’t worked in at LEAST a year manage to take “vacation”

(and yes I said that in THE most scarcastic way possible)

Mr. G: (nervously looks down and mumbles) I was in jail

Me: I’m sorry, you’re speaking really low. What did you say?
(yes i head EVERY word he said)

Mr.G: uummm I was in jail

Me: Oooh! you were in JAIL! (I said jail a tad bit louder than necessary). Well Mr.G, where I come from JAIL is not considered a vacation destination. And it might not hurt you to start thinking less of a vacation spot and more of a ummm JAIL.

Mr. G: (no more giggling) Yes ma’am

lol I know I was all kinds of bytches when he left, but I don’t care. That shit ain’t cute or funny!

Have a nice weekend yall and do try to avoid taking a “vacation” b/c I don’t have no bail money for yo ass! 🙂 lol

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Adrienne
    May 09, 2008 @ 20:25:00

    A MESS!

    Reply

  2. Sheila
    May 09, 2008 @ 21:02:00

    He’s a real knucklehead thinking Vacation is synonymous with Jail…lol

    Reply

  3. Keli
    May 09, 2008 @ 21:56:00

    Wow! Mr. Gravel…that bad huh?

    On vacation? What was he embarrassed that he was in Jail? No, he should have been embarrassed to come in there giggling talking about he was on vacation…man up and tell the truth!

    Reply

  4. AR Gal
    May 09, 2008 @ 22:38:00

    *cringes at the thought of his teeth* UGH!!!

    You know what though, that talkin to you gave is what someone needed to say to him a long time ago and maybe then he wouldn’t have been on vacation. He would have been somewhere straighten up and flyin right! lol

    Reply

  5. Roddykat
    May 09, 2008 @ 23:47:00

    Hmm, gravel, the new tooth bling? It just might work. Rappers can now rock how hard they claim to truly be. Pun pretended.

    You’re a better person than I to deal with folk like that.

    Wifey might cook for mom. Outside of that, I got nothing.

    Have a good one, love!

    Reply

  6. Cas...
    May 10, 2008 @ 01:20:00

    Oh boy! Another hot mess! Vacation! Indeed! An involuntary court appointed vacation from humanity into the bowels of the penal system!

    Silly man! I’m glad you got him straight!

    Reply

  7. Carolyn (cmarie12)
    May 10, 2008 @ 02:23:00

    I am totally speechless…

    and this is your day job…

    and I thought I worked with *ssh*les!

    Reply

  8. dejanae
    May 12, 2008 @ 16:42:00

    hahahah
    lmao
    vacation
    thats what the criminally minded are callin it now?
    good to know
    smh

    Reply

  9. NikkiJ
    May 12, 2008 @ 19:49:00

    Trifflin’ ass.

    Reply

  10. Real Talk
    May 13, 2008 @ 17:45:00

    hilarious!

    Reply

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